The Authenticity Series – Part 3

The previous post of the series ends with 3 questions,

1. What part or trait that makes you YOU, is still shut down in yourself?

2. What keeps you from feeling whole with all your beautiful traits?

3. What would the aliveness of that part bring into your life?

And here are some of the answers,

1. If you feel ashamed of any part of yours, that part of you is what you want to hide.

If you blame yourself for being..somehow, that part of you is something that you want to keep shut.

If you have thoughts like: ”I wish I was different”, ” I wish I was better with money”, ”I wish I was smarter or more beautiful or more intuitive” or whatever, is you blaming yourself for who you are.

If others blame or criticize you for something, and you tend to be a people pleaser, it may very well be that you prefer to hide and shut down bits of yourself, in an attempt to please others and be at peace with them.

2. We are different because through us being different, the world is enriched. We are smart, our way. We are beautiful, our way. We are unique. And world needs us, unique as we are.

When I started working as a coach, I asked myself this question a lot. There are a lot of intuitive people out there. Actually, what I teach people is that all of us can learn how to tap into its own fountain of intuition and knowledge. ”So, being me, or being unique, it’s not so important”, were my thoughts.

And I was wrong.

Because, through my gifts, I was the one who was able to reach to certain people: my friends, my neighbors, my family and my clients.

And you are the one who is able to be there for yours. Not to save them. Because that is their choice.

But to show yourself as beautiful as you are, so they will have the courage to be as beautiful as they are.

To show yourself as smart as you are, so they will have the courage to be as smart as they are.

To show yourself as bold and loving as you are, so they will the courage to be creative and determined and true.

3. Because the answer to question 3 is that through this, through being yourself and unique:

You are changing the world, YOUR WORLD, for the better. 

And no one else can do this, but you.

Maybe you are still waiting that those around will make a change and from that change, your world will be better.

Doesn’t work this way because each of us is responsible for its reality. Nobody knows better than you how your world should look like. Each of us knows its part. And each of us is responsible for its own.

Don’t wait any longer, let all parts grow into YOU. And your world will start changing as a mirror of you.

P.S. Schedule your FREE Discover Your Authenticity 30 minutes Call with me.

 

 

The Authenticity Series, Part 2

Last week, in the Autenticity Series, Part 1, I shared that:

 

-We think that parts of us make us less suitable for the world in which we want to fit.

-We chose to dismiss those traits and parts of us and hide them from the world.

-We set ourselves in a “I am not Enough” mode, by hiding parts that make us Unique.

By shutting these down, we give up our own Authenticity.

I totally get it!

We feel that it would be easier to be accepted, if we are more like others.

We are afraid that we won’t be appreciated, if we honestly show in the world.

We think that it would be easier to be loved, if we hide that we’re different.

We do it because we believe that we will fit in, if we are like the rest of the world.

And we hide those parts and traits for so long, that we started to forget what it means for us to be us.

We do it because we want to fit in.

We do it because we desire to be accepted.

We do it because we need to feel appreciated.

We do it because we hope to be loved.

My mother loved to work hard. She had it in her blood. My grandparents loved to work hard. So when I grew up, skinny and shy and fragile, writing poems and being a dreamer, my mother got scared.

“What would you eat, when you’ll be a grown up? Your poems? Your dreams?’’

And she meant good. From her point of view, people who work hard, have money. People who work hard, have something to eat. Of course, that she was worried for me. Mothers usually are.

But, in time, while growing up, I got afraid that there is something wrong with me. And I started to make more choices that pleased my parents. I started to make the choices that my parents thought to be safer for me.

Instead of following my passion for writing and poems and literature, I chose chemistry and mathematics.

Instead of following my passion for theatre, I chose to become an engineer.

I became an engineer, and I practiced one month. After one month, I chose to quit. It wasn’t for me.

There is no need for blame or regrets when our souls bring understanding.

Even if I was just a child, it was my choice to shut down that part of me that knows how to write.

And it was my choice to keep it hidden for decades.

Without that part of myself, I am not whole.

Shutting it down, I entered a grey area of low self-esteem, self – doubt and confusion.

‘’What’s this life about, anyway?’’

 

By resurrecting it, by allowing it to play a role in my being, I became empowered. I got back my joy, my satisfaction, my enthusiasm. I feel determined because I found my inner creativity.

Suddenly, I don’t need to fit in. I feel good being myself, so other people feel good around me too.

I don’t desire to be accepted. Because I learned to respect boundaries, and by lovingly respecting others, they accepted me too.

I don’t need to feel appreciated. I show more appreciation, and that comes back to me like a magic boomerang, all the time.

I don’t hope to be loved, because I (already) have it within.

Till next time,

Contact and schedule your first FREE 30 Minutes Call, to get more info on how you can feel:

Determined, Supported, Accepted and Appreciated.

And some questions:

What part or trait that makes you YOU, is still shut down in yourself?

What would the aliveness of that part bring into your life?

What keeps you from feeling whole with all your beautiful traits?

 

The Authenticity Series, Part 1

 

I worked in commerce and sales more than 15 years.

I tried so hard to do my best at it and because my best seemed to be not enough, I thought that:

I wasn’t enough.

Now, looking back at those 15 years, I understand things differently:


I was enough! My perceptions told me ‘’ I am less’’ so I made choices from within those perceptions.

How?

Easy. I chose to dismiss a lot of parts of me, hide them from myself and others.

Why?

I thought those parts made me unsuitable for the business world in which I wanted to fit.

So?

I set myself in a “I am not Enough” mode by hiding parts that were authentically mine.

Then?

People can sense other people. Confident people, those who I wanted to be like and be with, they dismissed me because I was in a “I am not Enough” mode.

Which? Which parts did I hide? I have a couple of examples:

My generous side.

People considered me naive because I was generous. So I just shut it down.

My dreamer part.

Others considered that I am childish because I had dreams. So I just shut it down.

By shutting these down, it was me that just gave up being enough:

I gave up being Me… 

My teacher, the kitchen sink

I love to cook, my boyfriend loves to be surrounded by friends, so we have friends over to dinner rather often in our home.

One of our friends noticed that I don’t have a kitchen sink filter and he kindly suggested that I should buy and use one, otherwise the plumbing might get clogged.

“Not really interested. I barely used kitchen sink filters in any of the places in which I have lived, and I never ever had any problems”, I thought to myself. But in the next few days I caught myself thinking differently:” Maybe I should just buy one of those sink filters”.

Please imagine my surprise my annoyance and my frustration when the plumbing got clogged one week later. No way this is happening to me! I wasn’t willing to accept it!

I kept asking myself, the Universe and my boyfriend why was this happening. The Universe answered promptly and quickly as he always is, but I couldn’t hear it through all my shouting and yelling. My boyfriend’s answer was simple and audible: “Just relax. It’s a sink, not a world crisis. We’ll sort it out”. It took me a while to quiet my emotions and then I heard the Universe’s answer: “This was possible because you accepted it in your creation as a possibility”.

I am Romanian. I was raised believing in jinx. When someone wishes you evil, when someone looks at you in a certain way, you may get sick. Looking at my clogged sink I was feeling my thoughts slowly going back to the jinx scenario. Each time my mind tried to get me there: you were jinxed, I pulled back. I refused to blame anyone else. I do my best to take responsibility for my thoughts, my own feelings, my actions and for my life.

The maintenance guy came the next day and to my great relief I was told that I wasn’t the cause of the blockage. It was somewhere in the main pipe, nothing related directly with me. With a superior smile he explained that sink filters are not so useful as they appear to be, because most of the kitchen pipes blockages are caused by the spilling of fat in the sink. And filters don’t stop the fat, so they aren’t offering the best prevention method.

The issue was solved! In the material plane. In my mind, things were still fuzzy and unclear. It took me a while to figure it out. I kept going to bed in the evenings with the intention of receiving definite and complete answers from the Universe. In the mornings, before leaving the bed, I lingered between sleep and wake, turning my thoughts upside down and checking for new perspectives. And the answer came.

I believed in what our guest told us might happen. By believing him, I came to the point of visualising a clogged sink. By visualising it, I lived the emotions of such an experience before the actual event took place. More than that, once in that “movie”, my mind went so far as to searching solutions for a problem that didn’t exist!

I accepted the truth of a guest in my thought and my life and I walked the main steps of creation: believe, visualise, feel the emotion of the result, live as though you got the result already.  

We see problems everywhere in the world. The minute we accept them, when we believe that those problems may one day be ours, when we visualize ourselves through those problems, when we feel in us the pain of those problems, we open ourselves for those problems to become our own reality. Fortunately, there is also the need of focus, of recurrence and consistency to manifest realities. So, we can watch horror movies without necessary inviting those events into our own lives. We believe that that is a movie.  Not real.

Situation is different when we watch the news, and we consider those real. By considering them real, we open ourselves for the first step: the idea that it may happen to any of us, anytime. Situation is different when trusted people come telling us that we may clog our sink, that X and Y are losing money or winning less and that there is a new monetary crisis waiting around the corner. “Of course, he’s right and this may happen anywhere anytime”, we think. “Of course, he’s right and this may happen to me too”, we think. Because this happens all the time, we think. And the minute we agree with this person, the minute we start to believe in his truth, that truth becomes ours. And then yes, that may become real in our life. And we are not used to observe ourselves, to catch ourselves before we agree to getting the kitchen sink clogged. We were taught to believe that we are victims of life, not partners in creation. We’d rather start hating our friends for jinxing us than look honestly into ourselves: where and when and how did I agree on creating this situation?

So, now I smile each time I get myself in front of my kitchen sink and I feel grateful: thank you for this beautiful lesson! Wow, how amazing it is, that I manifest all that I believe in. I am a wonderful being and I am grateful for the journey that is my life.

 

Labels

Living in a world of contrasts pushes us to mark and label everything, including ourselves. In relationship with so many factors that surrounds us, we seem to gain time and energy if we just label things as good, bad, not so good, not so bad, acceptable, inacceptable and so on. We rarely bother to admit that each of us has a free right to its own choices and choices by themselves doesn’t make anyone good or bad.
So we label ourselves, we label others, we label the choices, we label situations, we label everything. We stuff it in a box, we add the label on it and then we put the box on a shelf within our computer-like minds. It’s easier like this, because every time we encounter one more time that person, that situation, that event, we don’t have to analyze it all over once again: we have it already in a box on a shelf😊. We just have to glance at that particular box, “read“ the label and act or re-act accordingly. Sounds easy, doesn’t it? Well, it may be. And still, sometimes it’s not. We are not used to check our boxes, to re-label them, to open them and throw out some of the old stuff. So our shelves get more and more boxes each day and while we learn something new we tend to keep also what it’s old. And it may happen that labels start contradicting themselves. So this means we have an internal conflict. On one box it may be written that our ex is the only person in the whole world who can make us happy. We added this label on him while we were really in love and we thought that he was the source of our wonderful bliss. And then we split up and we stuffed him into another box, writing on it: this was the greatest mistake of my life! Never go near a person like that again! So we have at least 2 boxes for him. And those labels fight us back in our real life because we are living through those boxes, we are thinking those labels. We feel like there is no one out there for us – because we live from the old box that our ex was the only person in the whole world who can make us happy. We may even meet people that are exact opposites of our ex and still we are not happy while we live from the second box that says : Never go near a person like that again! We are not happy with the oppositte kind of guy because we kept the first box which says that the ” bad ” guy is making us happy.
Choosing between opposites is one side of the experience and this is a way of choosing with which we are accustomed to.
De-labeling is an empowering way of choosing. Whenever you encounter a person you don’t like, a situation that you would prefer to avoid, check your boxes. Go inside yourself, follow your thoughts, allow yourself gently to see what have you labeled and what are your labels saying regarding that unpleasant person or situation.
Decide what you choose to believe, what you choose to accept. Do you really think that your labeling is accurate? Do you really need to keep that label? Do you want to get out of that box?
When you release a label, you set yourself free in relationship with the type of things that you stuffed in that box.
Love yourself so much that you allow yourself to be free. It is a process of learning and we can learn how to do it.

Did you know?

…Did you know that fulfilling your highest dreams means to express the purpose of your soul?

…Did you know that the power of your heart can be turned into healing you?

…Did you know that from within your heart you can set the direction of your life and you can learn how to set the direction towards your highest dreams?

 

Decisions

Did you know that one of the biggest challenges that people face today is Taking decisions?

Did you know that we actually build our life through each step we take whether we are making conscious decisions or unconscious ones?

Did you know that by taking decisions based on others opinions you create for yourself the life others think that you should live?

All the information we need in order to create the life we want are inside us. Speak to yourself as you are your best friend and ask yourself what would make you happy, what would make you healthy, what would make you abundant. Relax, smile and listen to yourself.

The answers within you will take you to the decisions and the life you desire.  

 

Building our Future

We are taught to choose and decide carefully when going to school, when marrying, when comes to our career.

But mostly we go through life unaware that we are taking decisions all the time. I like to call them micro-decisions not to diminish their importance, but because they are not immediately visible to us, just as any micro-stuff.

We decide our life and our future continuously not only through conscious decisions but also through micro-decisions. By being unaware of this process we may fall easily into the trap of seeing ourselves as victims of other’s doings.

A first step to consciously build our own future would be to embrace the idea that we can and we already are building our lives.

Let’s say I want to lose weight. When I go unprepared into this project, my mind will start to activate fear of pain and it will unconsciously sabotage me at every step of the way.

My visual sense will keep seeing me as I am at the current moment, unable to sustain a fluent visualization of a lighter future me.

My heart will pulse on a frequency on which the ability to change is blocked.

And then of course there can be no result in losing weight.

I had less weight a couple of years before, but I encountered some struggling situations and I took the microdecision that a person with more weight is likely to have more power. It was my decision. I wasn’t aware of it, but it is still mine. I don’t have to blame my age or the food or even my genetics for it. I just need to smile and to find out, this time consciously: what do I really want and why I want it. Then I can consciously make a choice that my heart will follow.

 

Energy and Light

We are more than matter, we are also energy. We are mass-energy.

Everybody heard Einstein’s famous formula E=mc2:  in Einstein’s own simple but proved to be correct words, “the mass of a body is a measure of its energy content” which shows that mass and energy are equivalent.

Mass and energy are both measures of the “energy content”. This can be explained largely by realizing that energy, mass, and light all arise from the same fundamental forces, namely: electromagnetic energy. We are built from the same stuff as Light. We are Light. We are Inteligent Energy. This energy pulses and vibrates while is moving through us, while it’s forming us. This energy which we are radiates and expresses through our emotions, our thoughts and our material reality.

The rate by which this energy vibrates is called frequency. Material things are made of energies with low frequencies. Higher frequencies compose subtler thinner forms, as the air.

Aura is the electromagnetic field that that surrounds, permeats and extends all around living organisms. Nikola Tesla, vizionar and inventor, was the first to photograph the aura in 1891, bringing scientific proof to milenary spiritual knowledge of it’s existence.

HeartMath Institute researched and tells us that  the heart’s magnetic field, which is the strongest rhythmic field produced by the human body, not only envelops every cell of the body, but also extends out in all directions into the space around us. The heart’s magnetic field can be measured several feet away from the body by sensitive magnetometers. Research conducted at HMI suggests the heart’s field is an important carrier of information”. Same Institute proposes that through these electromagnetic field our hearts conveys emotional information into our bodies and into our enviroment and that this emotional information can be also detected by others.