Living in a world of contrasts pushes us to mark and label everything, including ourselves. In relationship with so many factors surrounding us, we seem to gain time and energy if we just label things as good, bad, not so good, not so bad, acceptable, unacceptable and so on. We rarely bother to admit that each of us has a free right to its own choices and choices by themselves don’t make anyone good or bad.
So we label ourselves, we label others, we label the choices, we label situations, we label everything. We stuff it in a box, we add the label on it and then we put the box on a shelf within our computer-like minds. It’s easier like this, because every time we encounter one more time that person, that situation, that event, we don’t have to analyze it all over once again: we have it already in a box on a shelf😊. We just have to glance at that particular box, “read“ the label and act or react accordingly. Sounds easy, doesn’t it? Well, it may be. And still, sometimes it’s not. We are not used to checking our boxes, to re-label them, to open them and throw out some of the old stuff. So our shelves get more and more boxes each day and while we learn something new we tend to keep also what it’s old. And labels may start contradicting themselves. So this means we have an internal conflict. On one box it may be written that our ex is the only person in the whole world who can make us happy. We added this label on him while we were really in love and we thought that he was the source of our wonderful bliss. And then we split up and we stuffed him into another box, writing on it: this was the greatest mistake of my life! Never go near a person like that again! So we have at least 2 boxes for him. And those labels fight us back in our real life because we are living through those boxes, we are thinking those labels. We feel like there is no one out there for us – because we live from the old box that our ex was the only person in the whole world who can make us happy. We may even meet people that are exact opposites of our ex and still, we are not happy while we live from the second box that says: Never go near a person like that again! We are not happy with the opposite kind of guy because we kept the first box which says that the ” bad ” guy is making us happy.
Choosing between opposites is one side of the experience and this is a way of choosing with which we are accustomed.
De-labeling is an empowering way of choosing. Whenever you encounter a person you don’t like, a situation that you would prefer to avoid, check your boxes. Go inside yourself, follow your thoughts, allow yourself gently to see what have you labeled and what are your labels saying regarding that unpleasant person or situation.
Decide what you choose to believe, what you choose to accept. Do you think that your labeling is accurate? Do you need to keep that label? Do you want to get out of that box?
When you release a label, you set yourself free in a relationship with the type of things that you stuffed in that box.
Love yourself so much that you allow yourself to be free. It is a process of learning and we can learn how to do it.

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