The Authenticity Series, Part 1

 

I worked in commerce and sales for more than 15 years.

I tried so hard to do my best at it and because my best seemed to be not enough, I thought that:

I wasn’t enough.

Now, looking back at those 15 years, I understand things differently:

I ”was enough”! My perceptions told me ‘’ I am less’’ so I made choices from within those perceptions.

How?

Easy. I chose to dismiss a lot of parts of me, hide them from myself and others.

Why?

I thought those parts made me unsuitable for the business world in which I wanted to fit.

So?

I set myself in an “I am not Enough” mode by hiding parts that were authentically mine.

Then?

People can sense other people. Confident people, those who I wanted to be like and be with, they dismissed me because I was in an “I am not Enough” mode.

Which? Which parts did I hide? I have a couple of examples:

My generous side.

People considered me naive because I was generous. So I just shut it down.

My dreamer part.

Others considered that I am childish because I had dreams. So I just stop myself from dreaming. 

By shutting these down, it was ME that gave up being enough,

I gave up being Me…