Last week, in the Autenticity Series, Part 1, I shared that:
-We think that parts of us make us less suitable for the world in which we want to fit.
-We chose to dismiss those traits and parts of us and hide them from the world.
-We set ourselves in a “I am not Enough” mode, by hiding parts that make us Unique.
By shutting these down, we give up our own Authenticity.
I totally get it!
We feel that it would be easier to be accepted, if we are more like others.
We are afraid that we won’t be appreciated, if we honestly show in the world.
We think that it would be easier to be loved, if we hide that we’re different.
We do it because we believe that we will fit in, if we are like the rest of the world.
And we hide those parts and traits for so long, that we started to forget what it means for us to be us.
We do it because we want to fit in.
We do it because we desire to be accepted.
We do it because we need to feel appreciated.
We do it because we hope to be loved.
My mother loved to work hard. She had it in her blood. My grandparents loved to work hard. So when I grew up, skinny and shy and fragile, writing poems and being a dreamer, my mother got scared.
“What would you eat, when you’ll be a grown up? Your poems? Your dreams?’’
And she meant good. From her point of view, people who work hard, have money. People who work hard, have something to eat. Of course, that she was worried for me. Mothers usually are.
But, in time, while growing up, I got afraid that there is something wrong with me. And I started to make more choices that pleased my parents. I started to make the choices that my parents thought to be safer for me.
Instead of following my passion for writing and poems and literature, I chose chemistry and mathematics.
Instead of following my passion for theatre, I chose to become an engineer.
I became an engineer, and I practiced one month. After one month, I chose to quit. It wasn’t for me.
There is no need for blame or regrets when our souls bring understanding.
Even if I was just a child, it was my choice to shut down that part of me that knows how to write.
And it was my choice to keep it hidden for decades.
Without that part of myself, I am not whole.
Shutting it down, I entered a grey area of low self-esteem, self – doubt and confusion.
‘’What’s this life about, anyway?’’
By resurrecting it, by allowing it to play a role in my being, I became empowered. I got back my joy, my satisfaction, my enthusiasm. I feel determined because I found my inner creativity.
Suddenly, I don’t need to fit in. I feel good being myself, so other people feel good around me too.
I don’t desire to be accepted. Because I learned to respect boundaries, and by lovingly respecting others, they accepted me too.
I don’t need to feel appreciated. I show more appreciation, and that comes back to me like a magic boomerang, all the time.
I don’t hope to be loved, because I (already) have it within.
Till next time,
Contact and schedule your first FREE 30 Minutes Call, to get more info on how you can feel:
Determined, Supported, Accepted and Appreciated.
And some questions:
What part or trait that makes you YOU, is still shut down in yourself?
What would the aliveness of that part bring into your life?
What keeps you from feeling whole with all your beautiful traits?